Pass the swearing jar

‘There will be a $5 dollar charge for whinging’, reads a favourite mug of mine at work. I think it was a present for someone around here once, and although I suspect the fine was never charged, perhaps the gift itself was enough to cause the desired change.

But if not, I’m sure that the $5 penalty per whinge would have worked its magic.

Sometimes we all need something really bad to threaten us before we budge, since our brains are hard-wired to either seek rewards or avoid pain. We’re always going to resist making changes to our status-quo behaviour or thinking patterns.

That’s where the idea of a swearing jar comes in – you have to pay up each time your tongue slips. (Think of it as a forced savings plan.)

But swearing jars have unintended and often hilarious results if they’re not set up right. For instance, set the penalty too low (say at 50 cents) and it will be ignored. Who cares? Or if the money is set to go toward something really desirable, like a holiday in Tahiti, it will end up encouraging and reinforcing the behaviour instead. Work meetings would get a tad too entertaining, let’s say.

Another thing is, you can’t really set up a swearing jar – or a negative consequence – on your own. (Well you could, but it wouldn’t be much fun.) Who would hold you to paying up and check whether you really made the change permanently? It’s a collective enterprise.

So if you are trying to change your spending or saving habits – like paying off your credit card in full each month or finally getting around to putting aside three months of expenses for your emergency fund – you need something really bad hanging over your head.

For me it would be putting up $300 that my kids would get to spend on anything they want if I didn’t make the change. That would hurt. For you it may be betting against the All Blacks to win at their next outing in Eden Park, or pledging to contribute to the political party you just can’t stand. It could be something really scary, too, like a bungee jump.

Pick your poison and make sure others will hold you accountable. Put it in a written contract even.

Knowing how human nature and neuroscience work, sometimes change calls for something drastic. We can make that work in our favour and nudge ourselves towards getting sorted.